My amusement park =)

Amusement park.
It's your birthday!
I don't know how on earth did I start getting so dependant on you.
Last year, same time, I used to hit on you because I found your eyes pretty. (And also because of my drummer theory.)

I still find them pretty though. Pretty like a girl.
Hahaha.
So who's amusement park?
He's just this guy, I gradually got close to. He is creepy, but he is funny too. Although I don't like the jokes he makes on me, at the end of the day, the are actually funny. Like hilarious.

He is the only person who gets away with those jokes, which by the way are made round-the-clock.

The first initial times that I spoke to him, I thought he was some really shy, 'my habitat is a cave' sort of a person.
But honestly, almost 6 months later, I can certifiably say he isn't that at all.
"Amusement park" because he is fun.
And ofcourse, he is the ONLY person with evidence about my previous embarrassing blog. (Incase you're reading this, DO NOT ever upload that picture.)

And yeah why this post?
Well because he is the only person who over-exerts his mind as much as I do. And because he is the 'fastest' best friend I made.
(Ps only I consider him that. Not the other way round. :P)
Hmm I want this to be a crisp post, so, I hope you never let go of your 'next level' sense of humour, get all that you wish for, grow up and stay the same.
Happy Birthday Douche. :)

Repair Centre

A week into hostel life & I feel like there is a tenant in this personality.
A loner is hiding somewhere behind that excessively jolly visage.
I look at that face and something pierces me.
Something invisible & something painful.
That person is fake. Trying so hard to be THAT someone that they aren't.
Trying so hard so push life into dead situations.
Trying even harder to smile her way through things which she knows will not work.
It's like she has been given an appliance that won't work and she tries her best to hit that machine, throw it around make it work. But it won't.
It is like every situation in her life is like that appliance, refusing to work out.
I try to run a finger over that face. It feels cold. It is my face.

So I lament. Cry. Scream. Do all that I can to make it work.
Spend almost all my day in that exasperated situation.

But then I start writing.
My mind clears up.
"The clouds burst forth & it began raining".
That rain soothed the roughened edges of my mind.
Quenched that pained, thirsty side with an answer.
I had tried everything but this-

I put in new batteries into the appliance.

Look at me now.

There comes a point in everyone's life when you don't have options.
When you have to deal with a situation at hand in the only way that you wouldn't want to. When you learn accepting. Accepting things, circumstances that in no way appeal to you.
That make you question your point of existence.
You eventually have to learn dealing with things. Learn how the tough get going when the going gets tough.
And you won't learn unless you experience that once. It can be learnt only the hard way.
You'll learn how to rapell only once you do it. The theory about it won't take you anywhere.

The reason having provoked this side to come out is living in a hostel.
No one makes my bed.
No body picks up things from the floor which I keep chucking here & there.
No body clears the mess that I make of the table.
No body tells me wether a grey pair of jeans goes in sync with a black t-shirt.

All that dependence has just disappeared. Gone away to some distant far off place.

It's a total paradoxical feeling where I wish I could lean upon someone allover again & another part which is glad that I'm finally dealing with life on my own.
And for now I'm off to find entertainment, on my own.