It's been a month almost since I last wrote. Maybe that is exactly the reason for the chaotic state I'm seeing myself in, right now.
*I*
(Yes only I feel I am in a chaotic state.)
Prior warning: This post is going to be extensive. I haven't written in really long.
1.I talked to a friend the other day, he casually mentioned how some *statistical number* of people tend to tell their problems to others just to, in a way, gain sympathy.
So it set me thinking (I realised one more thing, I think a lot!) over why do some people (ME! ME! ME!!) tell people about their life, why are some people so keen on being an open book.
Socializing is a different thing, you talk about ice-breaking topics first, gradually diverting to small talk.
Building walls around yourself is also another. It is just a futile attempt trying to 'stay alone' in a world overburdened with overpopulation anyway.
But what I've been doing is different, I guess it's just talking, I mean talking about things to feel that there is a purpose to your life. Talking about things that affect you, things that make you smile.
I think yes I'm thinking too much, talking is a passion & I am one overtly indulgent person. :P
2. It is going to be a year since I wrote my board examination & honestly I miss that studious side to me.
I used to wake up early to study Physics & almost fall asleep in the attempt. Last year, same time, 7am was early for me. This year at 7, I'm in a class in school, discussing homework maybe.
Time changes, moves so fast that before you realise, a year might have passed, maybe I won't be AS nostalgic next year.
BUT this has been a life altering year. :))
3. Are there really two spellings to realise?
Realize & Realise?
4. I've been reading a book- The Palace of Illusions.
It's a book on the Mahabharata from Draupadi's perspective.
And very honestly the book is making me feel that pain.
I mean the pain she went through, after her brother-in-law tried to dishonor her in front of such a huge gathering & how just everybody although pained didn't dare to raise a voice, didn't bother to protect the last shread of shame.How she wanted the war to happen because she wanted revenge for being publicly humiliated! I can feel that pain & anger for some damned reason.
And the one part that actually hurt me more or less was how complex her story with Karna was. What started as love, how it veered onto become a sentiment layered with layers of anger, hatred, relinquished love, forgiveness and how returned to where it began, love.
And like the story basically says, you can't withhold your heart. You might be married to a certain man but your heart might be belonging to some other man itself, all you can do is manage your actions so that they don't give away.
It made me feel a new emotion. I smelt what revenge must have smelt like. I felt like I was tasting vengeance.
Basically the book has transported me to a place, where no book or movie has ever before.
A place where I'm living like the person who I can see all sides to.
*sigh*
Now ALL feels great!
Writing IS my drug, I guess! :D
