So I am sitting on my window, staring at pigeons and marvelling at their love for nooks and crannies, when I feel a tear on my cheek. I don't even know how I started crying. All I know is once I did, it didn't stop.
Since the last couple of days, I've become an awful lot crankier, ready to snap at people for no reason at all. I have started to analyse every little thing about every person (significant or insignificant doesn't matter). I can't look past certain things. Weird details; somethings which don't even matter, have enveloped me and my thinking capacity.
Just now, I snapped at someone, AGAIN.
I can see a fault in me.
I know how to rectify it, exhume it. But I can't.
And I suppose that's how life works?
I can't trust, The one person that I really need to. It isn't exactly about "trust you with my secrets" trust; Not even "I have doubts over you" trust. It's something more complex. It's something like I don't trust someone to be there. I don't trust a person to actually hold me when I need that. I don't trust a person to stay.
Yes that's all that my problem is.
And well, I know this piece might be a real rag but I had to write. I had to write to solve out the tangled ball of yarn that my brain has been processing over the last month.
Feels better.
